Hey, Kevin.
So this story is about a very sheltered boy who realizes that his parents have denied him the means to reach his potential, so he finally takes action and sets out to find independence and freedom.
There was a lot that I really enjoyed about this story. On pg.1, the dad waits until the commercial to answer his son. That is such a human, authentic detail and I really love it. I also really liked the dinosaur wallpaper and how the narrator connects with it. That was a really neat comparison and I found it really believable. I also appreciated the details like the exact year and make of the car, and the story about how the grandfather one it in a game of Texas Hold'Em. Nice.
As far as suggestions go, I found it a little bit hard to believe that the grandfather's Last Will and Testament would just be chilling in the basement. Wouldn't they have had to fish that out for legal purposes? And would the parents really have custody of it after the fact? I don't know, it just seems like if they have it, they'd keep it somewhere super safe. Like, in a safe. So did the parents lie to the kid about the car? Was it really sold to someone else? Did the grandfather choose to sell it, or did they choose to sell it? I also wish we'd been given a little bit more backstory, particularly about why the kid is so sheltered. What's up with his parents? And honestly, the "prince/throne/kingdom" analogy confused me. For a little bit, I actually thought I was reading a story about a sheltered prince...
Also, I think I just want a little more. Maybe some greater interactions with is parents, conflicts where he wants to do something and they prevent him from doing it, etc. I think that would do a lot to deepen the story and make the stakes greater. Also, I think it would be interesting if the grandfather had a conflict with the parents about their control over the kid. Just an idea.
CK
No comments:
Post a Comment