Monday, March 5, 2012

Response to Patrick's "Baking Cookies"

Hi there, Patrick.

This is a story about a young boy who is being sexually abused by his mother and doesn't realize it. He loves his mother, and believes that her actions are normal. In the end, he is taken away from her and put into the care of his grandmother.

So there were some really cool things about this story that I want to highlight. First of all, I love the repetition of the idea of words having more than one meaning. Bringing the "confectioner's vs. powdered sugar" back at the very end as Matt tries to figure out if abuse and love can mean the same thing was super effective. There were also some moments where the voice was very strong, such as on pg 5 when Matt explains "We poop from butts. We shouldn't be touching the place poop comes from". It really emphasized how young the narrator was, and how little he understood. I also really loved how he calls the woman "Ms. Lady" on pg. 7.

As far as suggestions go, I got a little confused about a few things. For instance, the mother's pills are mentioned once of twice but what pills is she taking exactly? Also, we know that the father was abusive to the mother. At the end, when Matt requests to go live with his grandmother, I wish I knew more about her as a person. I am left feeling incredibly suspicious about her since both of Matt's parents have been abusive. I would like to be given a little more closure at the end. There were also a couple places where the voice seemed to belong to a much older child. For example, on pg. 7 Matt asks "There's an incorrect way to touch someone?" I feel like he should ask what "inappropriately" means first, and have to be told "wrong".

That's all. Hope that helps some! Good work.

CK

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