Dear Molly,
This is a story about a girl in a psychiatric hospital. It deals with the idea that sometimes craziness is projected onto people because others don't know how to deal with their behavior, so they just treat them as insane. As the story progresses, we learn a little more about Scarlett's past, such as her father's violent death, and the reason why she's in the psychiatric ward after all.
Some of my favorite things about your story are the details about the people! Like the mom's ankle weights and how her skin is dry from so many showers. I also love the narrator's voice, and the repetition of the "think: whatever" or "try: whatever". That works for me.
So, some suggestions: I would like to know more about the main character. We get a lot of her ideas of other people, and we hear stories of things that she has witnessed, and later on we find out that she paints. I just wish we knew more about her as a person instead of just her reactions to outer events earlier on. I want to see her in action a little bit more. Also, I'm not sure that I completely understand the mother's character. Is it supposed to be ironic that her mother obviously has problems and yet checks her daughter into a psychiatric hospital because she doesn't know how to handle her and doesn't want to? Why does the mother do what she does? Why did the Dad stay with her? Did he have any issues that like as well? He almost seems too perfect right now.
Kay, that's all I've got.
Thanks for writing!
Sincerely,
CK
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